Whether you’ve grown up in the last decade, or the last five, there’s a common theme. Success is very rarely defined as internal—at least, what’s promoted on television or social media isn’t usually internally focused. We spend our days coveting the “success” of others, working toward what we think it means (money, fame, and power generally constitute the trifecta). We spend a LOT of time comparing ourselves and our successes to everyone else, and you know what? It’s not helping any of us get to where we want to be!
The good news is, you’re not alone! Today we’re going to cover some real-life ways to start defining what success looks like to you. Let’s talk.
Define your own success.
It’s not easy, but it IS simple. Finding a new perspective of success means choosing to step away from looking at everyone else and focusing on you. How?
- Sit down (in your car, in your room, in the bathroom, whatever works) for 10 minutes. No technology for this.
- Think about the last time you felt successful. Write it down.
- Now the hard part. Think about WHY that moment, space, or situation made you feel the way it did. Odds are, it wasn’t the “thing” you bought, the outfit you wore, or the promotion you were given that made it feel important. We’re betting it was the work you put in, the reason why you did it, or the way someone else might have made you feel in that moment that really made an impact.
- Write down your WHY. Need a reminder on why your why is so important? Refresh here.
Know your value. Self talk IS important.
When something doesn’t go your way, how do you react? When you’re struggling with insecurities or lack of confidence, are you able to pivot and keep moving forward? Or are you debilitated by your own thoughts and negativity?
There are a million little triggers, reactions, and emotions that go through our minds every day, and not all of them are serving us (or our goals). We must learn to reset.
- Take 5 minutes and write down three reasons why you’re awesome and amazing. Hype yourself up and be your biggest fan! Create a positive mindset reminder in your life. What’s that look like? Every time you get up from your desk, tell yourself, “I’m GETTING it today!” Or, every time you get in your car, say, “I’m AMAZING!” Create your own reminders with your own affirmations, but the idea is to Pump. Yourself. UP!
- Make reminders in your phone every few hours, or even just once a day, to remind yourself that, yes, your emotions and feelings are real. But not everything you think, or feel, is true. Read that again. If you’re down on yourself, challenge these negative thoughts!
It is so important to create your own success from within. You are your #1 fan. Yes, you’ll have people along your journey to cheer you on, but when times get lonely (and they do for everyone!), you know all of your own strengths, weaknesses, joys, fears, and everything in between. Build your foundation now so that you can cheer for you when life gets crazy!
Remember that true success isn't always tangible.
What if … just what if … success wasn’t about all the “stuff?” What if success could be defined in different ways for each of us?
Surprise! It CAN.
A foundation and understanding of what we really want from life (this is your “why!”) is far more glamorous than custom-made running shoes with your dog’s face on them (well, maybe). It’s great to have tangible goals and “things” we want. But without dreams, aspirations, or a core sense of who we are without those “things,” this type of success can turn into something that consumes us. It can take away from our ability to be authentic, grounded, and live with a servant heart.
So, let’s recap. You’re an incredible human and it’s important to know that about yourself. “Things” are cool, but your “why” is better. Success comes from you, not someone else’s highlight reel.