From a young age, we’re taught to be kind to others, but are we showing that same level of kindness to ourselves?
Let’s take a second to talk about your internal dialogue. Are you building yourself up, or are you constantly picking out the things you don’t like? For most of us, the negative self-talk is real (whether we see it or not). It’s time that we start rooting for ourselves, the same way we root for others!
When it comes to building your success, we all know that mindset is important (we even talked about it in this post!). But perhaps the most powerful mindset tool we have is the ability to simply be kind to ourselves … easier said than done sometimes!
The Positive vs. the Negative
Maybe, up until this point, you haven’t given your self-talk much thought. Maybe you weren’t even aware you had an internal dialogue until … well, until you started reading this post. The first step to positive self-talk is paying attention to your thoughts throughout the day.
When you look at yourself in the mirror, do you notice you point out small things you don’t like about your appearance? When you’re speaking to someone, are you too busy picking apart something that you just said instead of fully listening to what they’re saying? Start catching yourself in these scenarios and stop your negative self-talk in its tracks! Here are a few pointers to help you get started.
Have you ever heard of “thought stopping?” This is the concept of stopping your negative thoughts by replacing them with an action. For example, maybe you clap your hands or snap your fingers whenever you start to feel that negative mindset bubbling to the surface. Read all about this technique and how it might help you, here!
Does it really matter?
So, you hit a roadblock on your way to a goal. Or you feel like you made the wrong decision. Or you’re having a bad hair day. In this moment, the negative situation you’re dealing with seems massive. But instead of letting your “I’m-not-good-enough” internal dialogue take over, stop and ask yourself if this will matter in 5 years (or, in the case of a bad hair day, 5 hours). Keep the big picture in mind and never let a temporary situation cause your negativity to spiral out of control.
Not every thought is true.
“Wow, that thing I said was super annoying. I should probably stop talking now, I’m so embarrassed.” But wait … was the thing you said actually annoying? Or is that just your perception of how that scenario went? Because while you’re agonizing over what you just said, everyone else might be thinking that what you said was brilliant. Remember that your thoughts are just thoughts—and they’re not always true. Take them with a grain of salt!
Make the switch.
Now that we’ve addressed getting rid of the negative, it’s time to start intentionally looking for opportunities to build yourself up and add more positive energy to your life. How exactly should you go about this? Follow these quick tips!
- Surround yourself with people who lift you up, support you, and want to see you succeed.
- Write down five things you’re grateful for, daily.
- Make time for self-improvement activities like working out, reading, or picking up a new hobby.
- Find and appreciate the things that you’re good at, while working to improve on your weaknesses (read this post to get started).
Fair warning: Positive self-talk takes practice. Lots of it. You may notice yourself falling back into old negative patterns as you progress … which is to be expected! If you think about it, most of us have built up years of negativity bias. This doesn’t just go away in a day, or even a week. Keep at it, hold yourself accountable, and most importantly, talk to yourself the way you would talk to a good friend. We’re always rooting for you—now, it’s time for you to start rooting for yourself!