If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation wishing you’d said something different, talked yourself out of an opportunity because you didn’t feel like you were the right fit, or spent way too much time second guessing an email before hitting send … welcome! This post is for you.
Today, we’re talking about building confidence. It’s important to remember that, like any skill, confidence is one of those things that gets stronger the more you practice. Here are five simple steps to help you build lasting self-confidence!
Action creates confidence.
Let’s start by debunking the myth that you have to feel confident before you act. In reality, it works the other way around!
No matter what you’re currently facing, whether that’s speaking up in a meeting or introducing yourself to someone new, confidence grows after you take the leap. So, while it may feel a bit awkward and uncomfortable, know that that’s where the magic happens.
(And remember, you’re often far more critical of yourself than anyone else in the room is of you!)
Change the way you talk to yourself.
Here’s a crazy stat for you: The average human has about 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those thoughts, about 75% of them tend to be negative. It’s time to work on that!
Imagine if you had someone following you around every day saying things like, “You’re going to mess this up,” or “You’re not qualified.” You’d probably be pretty down on yourself after hearing those things all day, right? Yet so many of us say those exact same things to ourselves.
Pay attention to your internal dialogue because your mindset and the words you speak to yourself have a direct impact on your confidence.
Build trust with yourself.
A key step to building confidence is simply believing that you’ll follow through on what you say you’ll do. The little things that seemingly “don’t matter” are typically the things that matter most.
Have a workout scheduled? Show up and do it to the best of your ability. Set a goal to read a chapter of your personal development book each night? Stick to it! Every promise you keep to yourself becomes evidence that you’re capable.
Remember that social media isn't real life.
It’s easy to assume everyone else has it figured out, and that’s often because, at least online, it looks like everyone does. Meanwhile, those people you’re watching online are probably out there somewhere wondering if what they just said in that meeting sounded weird, too.
Most people aren’t posting about the rejection email they received or the project that failed, but know that every single of us deals with those things. Comparison steals confidence, especially when we spend our time comparing our everyday realities to someone else’s carefully edited moments. The only person you need to outperform is the person you were yesterday.
Just start.
The irony is that if you wait until something feels comfortable before you do it, you’ll be waiting a long time. You build confidence by proving to yourself that you can handle situations that feel uncomfortable. So, volunteer to take the lead on a project or introduce yourself to someone at the next networking event. It may feel awkward, but every time you do something that forces you to be uncomfortable, you’re teaching yourself that discomfort is a signal that you’re growing!
You don’t have all the answers, but guess what? No one does! Even when you feel unsure, take the next step anyway. If that step feels a little scary, that’s usually a sign you’re headed in the right direction.